Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
