Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
