Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
