So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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