Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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