It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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