he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
