I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
