he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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