i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
