At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
