I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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