don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
