3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it was like eating out sand paper
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
