Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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