omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
