dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
