census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
So. Much. Porn.
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