can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
