Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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