took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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