So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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