I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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