No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This baby is an asshole
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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