My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
