ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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