you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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