I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
wow bdsm is so cute
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
