i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
