Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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