We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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