come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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