My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
vagina is talking i cant
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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