Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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