dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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