Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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