Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
