Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
