Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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