ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
