Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
