5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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