recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
