No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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