she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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