Yo dont text me then not text me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
