So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
