You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
