like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
