fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
