david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
