i barfeds in our rink
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
