should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
