You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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