we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
