Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
