I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
