Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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