I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
