Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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