Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I would fuck him just for his dog
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
