I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
