I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize