that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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